I Can't Leave Her
by Natural-Writer
Summary: Lin and Naru are in the car and Lin puts a song on the radio. It gets Naru thinking. What song? What does Naru realize.
1. I Can't Leave Her

**A/N:** Ok so apparently the music I listen to and Ghost Hunt inspires me to write more. So Lin and Naru are in the car and Lin puts this song on. By the way I don't own Ghost Hunt or the song (I'll tell you the name at the end). I don't even think I could come up with a character as dynamic as Naru on my own anyways. My name is Natural_Writer because I'm just that a natural writer. I have never had any type of writing classes other than normal high school English classes.

**FYI:** Italics are song lyrics

* * *

><p><strong>I Can't Let Her Go<strong>

Naru's POV:

I can't believe Mai told me she loved me. I know it can't be true, no matter how much I want it to be. There is no way someone as kind and caring as Mai could love anyone as narcissistic as me.

I was right about her loving Gene. I don't want it to be true. Damn Gene! Why did my stupid brother have to make the only girl I've ever had any form of feelings for, love him. I know if I had told Mai about my feelings she would have left one day and that was pain I couldn't handle. I can barely handle losing her but to have her and to lose her would kill me.

I was just coming out of my thoughts to see Lin messing with the radio. The song that came on was one I'd never heard before. The first words of the song nearly stopped all thought. It was in English but the song sounded American.

_You say you and her are really over_

_Don't wanna make up just to fall apart again_

_You say you want off this roller coaster_

_Well, friend, let me ask you this_

I know Mai and I were never going out so we couldn't be over and most of our fights were because I picked on her, mostly because I thought she was cute when she was mad. Still I had a feeling that this song is going to make me think of Mai. Sure enough as I listen to the rest of the song my heart sank.

_Can you stand to see her dancin' in somebody else's arms?_

I couldn't. I couldn't even stand to see another guy making Mai laugh. It took all of my self-control not to kill the monk and Yasuhara-san when they made her laugh or, God forbid, hugged her. Still that doesn't mean I didn't make the right choice.

_Do you think that you'll go crazy every time you see her car?_

Well taking that that neither Mai nor I are old enough to have a driving license, being 16 and 17*, I don't think I have to worry about that. Though anyone walking that looks remotely like Mai catches my eye because I wonder if it's her

_If you can't scroll by her number and dial it on your phone_

Well I know I'm like that. I've had to come up with some of the most idiotic excuses to why I was calling Mai only because every time I saw her number I'd have to dial it. Most of the excuses ended with her coming to the office and majority of those had something to do with tea.

_Well that's all you need to know_

_Don't leave her_

_If you can't let her go_

Well that's easier said than done. The girl I love is in love with my dead twin for God's sake. Worst part is she has convinced herself it's me she loves.

_I ain't saying you ain't got good reason_

_For wanting to take a match to everything_

Thank you! How would you feel if the woman you loved was in love with your twin who died before she ever met him? Oh dear Lord, I'm going insane. I'm starting to talk to the song on the radio. Mai does crazy things to me. Always has.

_But before you set your mind on leavin'_

_You really oughta stop and think_

Maybe I should think about this. I haven't really. My only mindset was to get Gene to England. It's not like me to do something impulsively, unless Mai is in trouble. I need to think about this now.

_Can you run across her picture and not wonder where she is?_

I didn't have a picture of Mai. Wait there was one in the office on her desk. Every time I saw that picture and Mai wasn't at the office I'd wonder whither she was at home or school or wherever. Damn this song! Why can't Lin just turn it off?

_Can you catch the scent of her perfume and not think about her kiss?_

Cherry blossoms, that was what Mai always smelled like. It was a lovely perfume. Mai loved cherry blossoms. Every time I smelled that scent, whither from the trees or perfume, I'd imagine what it would be like to kiss Mai. I imagine like heaven.

_If you can't stop dreamin' 'bout her when you're sleepin' all alone_

I've always dreamed about Mai. That's why I gave her the permit job at SPR, because I thought my dreams where a message. However, even after I hired her I had dreams about her. Did even back then I have feelings for her?

_Well that's all you need to know_

_Don't leave her_

I'm starting to not want to leave Mai. But can I go back to her after the things I said. Mai probably hates me now even if she was sincere about being in love with me.

_Swallow your pride and turn this thing around_

Is it really as simple as swallowing my pride and turning around? Thinking about it pride probably is playing a role in this. I didn't even give Mai a chance to deny my accusation of her loving Gene. There is still a chance of her loving me.

_'Cause this here is a road you don't wanna go down_

The bloody song is right. I don't want to leave Mai. But is it too late? Should I just go back to England?

_If you can't stand to see her dancin' in somebody else's arms_

_Or you think that you'll go crazy every time you see her car_

_If you can't scroll by her number and not dial it on your phone_

_Well that's all you need to know_

_Don't leave her_

_Don't leave her_

_If you can't let her go_

_If you can't let her go_

Damn! How can a song relate so perfectly to me? The damn thing seems written for me to hear. Still it's right. I can't leave Mai because I can't let her go.

"Lin!" I yelled. "Turn the car around."

"Why?" Lin asked me.

"Because I'm in love with Mai and am about to make the biggest mistake of my life."

Lin didn't answer but as he turned the car around he was smirking and I thought I heard him mumble, "Finally, thought the song might have been too subtle for the hard head."

* * *

><p>* The minimum age for a driving license in Japan is 18<p>

Song: Don't Leave Her (If You Can't Let Her Go)- Chris Young

**A/N**: So I'm not sure how this turned out or if it was any good. I wasn't able to read the last of the of the Ghost Hunt mangas because my school libary didn't have it so I'm sorry if it doesn't line up. I didn't really like the dialogue at the end. So review if you want but you don't have to. I write as a hobby. I only post because I like to know other people read it. Oh I might add another chapter but I kind of want to keep the songfic theme so I'm going to listen to some music and see if anything inspires me.


	2. What I Couldn't Say

**A/N So here is the next chapter. Again the name of the song will be revealed at the end. Also I think it is pretty obvious that I don't own Ghost Hunt or the song.**

* * *

><p>What I Couldn't Say<p>

Mai's POV:

I can't believe Naru's gone. Could he really believe I love Gene? For the majority of the time I've known Naru I didn't even know Gene existed.

Naru's rejection felt like he ripped out my heart, stomped on it then proceeded to kick it across the room. He didn't even have the guts to tell me he didn't feel the same and he walked away before I had processed what he had said and could deny it.

I didn't just lose my love I lost my job as well. How am I supposed to live? I'm a self-sustaining 16-year-old. The job Naru gave me helped me live on my own.

When I got home I put on one of my mixed CD's hoping it would help me forget. However, the first song reminded me more than ever of what happened between Naru and me. I broke down crying as the first words played and I recognized the song.

_In a book- in a box- in the closet._

Well I don't think there is a book with my ending (**A/N** Heehee. Irony, I love it. Don't you?). If there was and I owned it, it probably would be in a box in the back of my closet because when I read a book I want it to lift me up. Naru always read books to learn.

_In a moment on a front porch late one June._

I remember a case we once had in June. Naru and I sat talking on a client's front porch. We seemed to bond. I thought Naru was opening up to me. Now I know I hadn't scratched the surface of who Naru was.

_In a breath inside a whisper beneath the moon._

That line might have hurt the most so far. The first time I ever said I loved Naru aloud was in the moonlight, under my breath as Naru was walking back to base on one of our cases.

_There it was at the tips of my fingers._

That line reminds me of when I use to give Naru his tea and our fingers would brush together and send a shock up my body. I always wondered if he had the same feeling but his face was so stoic that I couldn't tell.

_There it was on the tip of my tongue._

I told Naru from the bottom of my heart that I loved him and he told me I loved his twin. I was about to tell him it wasn't true when he walked away. It was right at the tip of my tongue.

_There you were and I had never been that far._

Naru was here or at least at SPR, always. I had never loved anyone like I loved Naru and I doubt I ever will again. He was always there when I needed him and now he's gone.

_There it was the whole world wrapped inside my arms._

Naru made my world feel complete. Not just because I loved him but because he gave me a family. Without Naru I wouldn't have met Monk, John, Ayako, Yasu, or any of the members of SPR. All those people made me feel safe, Naru especially because he was the one always rescuing me from angry ghost.

_And I let it all slip away._

I did let Naru and everything we had or might have had slip away. I didn't deny being in love with Gene (even though I'm not) and I didn't go after Naru when he started to walk away. I just stood there like a dumb statue. (**A/N** when I say dumb here I mean it like mute not like stupid)

_What do I do now that you're gone_

Naru and my work at SPR was such a part of my life that now that it's gone I don't know what to do. My job at SPR was what paid for my dayly living expenses and seeing Naru was one of the few things I looked forward to even if he was a tea-addicted, narcissistic, slave-driving ass. Now my small world is crumbling.

_No back up plan, no second chance_

I didn't have a back up plan with Naru because, no matter how much he might think differently, I have never loved anyone like I love Naru, not even Gene. Gene was more like a brother I never had.

There would diffently be no second chances with Naru taking that he was probably already on a plane to England and never in a million years could I afford a ticket to there even if it was coach.

_And no on else to blame_

Well I suppose I could try to blame Naru but really I'm to blame. I didn't deny Naru's accusation and if I just had things might have been different.

_All I can hear in the silence that remains_

Ironic (**A/N** see there the irony is again. I told you I loved it.) that Naru always hated noise, but I was always loud till he left and my heart seemed to die. Now I don't seem to have it in me to be loud, or see anyone, or do anything really.

_Are the words I couldn't say_

Well I told Naru that I loved him. I couldn't keep telling him though. I couldn't tell him I didn't love his stupid twin (not that I really think Gene is stupid. Just when Naru is telling me I love him, meaning Gene of course). Yes, I was in shock but why couldn't I tell him what I knew so deeply in my heart?

_There's a rain that will never stop falling._

Rain, sadness, depression. Yeah this lost love is a depression that will never end therefore a rain that will never stop falling.

_There's a wall I tried to take down._

That wall was the wall Naru built around himself and his emotions. I tried to take down the wall, to get him to show his emotions. On ocassion I could weaken the wall but Naru always built it right back up again. Now he'll never show true emotion to me.

_What I should have said just wouldn't pass my lips._

Telling Naru I didn't love Gene wasn't the only thing I should have done. I should have told Naru my feelings a long time ago. He probably would have had a better chance of believing me.

_So I held back and now we've come to this._

I never told Naru how I felt because I was scared. I told him when I did because I couldn't bare the idea of never seeing him again. Now not only will I never see him again but also I've had my heart destroyed.

_And it's too late now._

Well taking that he lives in a country almost halfway around the world and has no plans to come back to Japan, I think it is safe to say (as much as I hate to) that it is too late for Naru and me.

_What do I do now that you're gone_

_No backup plan, no second chance_

_And no one else to blame_

_All I can hear in the silence that remains_

_Are the words I couldn't say_

Why is it that the part of the song they decide to repeat is one of the most depressing parts. Seriously if I wasn't crying before I would be now.

_What do I do now that you're gone_

_No backup plan, no second chance_

_And no one else to blame_

_All I can hear in the silence that remains_

_Are the words I couldn't say_

Okay! I get it. Naru's gone and it's my fault because I couldn't confirm my feelings to him.

Yes, I love Naru. No, I do not love Gene. Yes, I'm hurt; no, I don't want to cry.

But that's exactly what I was doing, crying.

When I was almost at my lowest point where I'd be crying as hard as I could I heard a knock on my door.

I gathered myself best I could and answered it.

When I saw who was standing at my door I swore I was hallucinating. It wasn't possible for him to be here.

* * *

><p><strong>Song: Words I Couldn't Say- style of Rascal Flatts<strong>

**A/N: Sorry I haven't loaded this story till now. I've had it written but it wasn't typed. However the chapter that comes after this where Naru actually tells Mai how he feels is written so as soon as it is typed I'll upload it. Reviews are nice but they aren't everything.**


	3. I Loved You From Hello

**A/N So here is the next chapter. Naru does confess his feelings to Mai. He might seem a little OOC but I don't think it's too bad. And if you haven't caught on yet I'll revile the name of the song at the end. I'll give you a hint though. If you haven't notice the title of the chapter is very similar to the title of the song. Also I think it is pretty obvious that I don't own the rights to either Ghost Hunt or the song. If I did I probably wouldn't be living in a town in South Carolina that is so small we only have two major roads with everything else being back roads and we also only have three red-lights.**

* * *

><p><strong>I Loved You From Hello<strong>

Naru's POV:

I knocked on her door. I had that stupid song Gene used to play all the time, the one he gave me a copy of like he knew I'd need it one day, in my hand. I was nervous as hell but I tried to keep my stoic and blank mask on. That was hard around Mai though.

She opened the door and it was immediately obvious that she had been crying. Her eyes and lips were red and swollen. Her entire face was wet like she had tried to wipe the tears away and make it look like she hadn't been crying. She wore a fake smile. I knew it was fake in an instant. It looked nothing like Mai's real smile. The smile that was one of the reasons I loved her. This might be harder than I thought.

"Naru," Mai whispered so low her voice was almost inaudible. It was almost as if she was trying to decide if I was a hallucination or not. I didn't blame her.

I was suppose to be on a plane to England right now, not standing on her doorstep after rejecting her in the worst possible way.

"Mai," I said, trying to let my voice be gentle and even let some of what I was feeling leak into my voice.

Mai seemed to come to the decision that I was real. "N-Naru? Naru what are you doing here? Are…Aren't you suppose to be on your way to England?"

I gave her the smallest smile possible. "I couldn't go, Mai," I told her.

"Why?" she asked her voice shaky.

"I have something I need to tell you. Can I come in?" I had to ask because I was getting really nervous standing on her doorstep.

She didn't really answer but she stepped aside and gestured for me to enter. After entering and removing my shoes I turned and faced her.

"Mai as I said I have something I need to tell you. However, as you know, I am not good at expressing my feelings. For that particular reason I have a song I'd like to play for you that I feel says everything I'd like to say to you. Do you have anything I could play it on?" I was surprised. I never really talked that much unless it was about work.

"Yes. It's over there," Mai said in answer to my question while pointing in the direction she was talking about.

I saw the CD player she was talking about. I walked over to it and put in my CD and made sure it was on the right number for the song I wanted to play for her.

As the introduction played I looked. I spotted Mai sitting on a coach. I was surprised to notice she had a western style apartment.

I sat beside her and watched her as the words of the song started to play.

_One word, that's all you said_

_Something in your voice called me, turned my head_

Confusion clouded Mai's features. She didn't understand yet. I just hoped she would soon.

_Your smile just captured me_

_And you were in my future as far as I could see_

Mai gave a glimpse of that smile I loved so dearly. I really couldn't imagine a world without her. When I pictured my future I pictured her.

_And I don't know how it happened, but it happened still_

_You asked me if I love you, If I always will_

Mai's face fell. She was remembering my harsh rejection. I only rejected her because I really didn't know how it happened and I some how could not believe she loved me.

Seeing Mai's hurt face and knowing I caused it hurt me more than anything. I couldn't watch her anymore, so I dropped my head down.

_Well you had me from hello_

_I felt love start to grow_

I could only hope Mai believed this. She probably thought I was playing some kind of cruel joke on her. If only she knew how long I've loved her. Since the very beginning even before I realized it.

_The moment I looked into your eyes you won me_

Mai's eyes truly have won me over. The cinnamon color and sparkle of happiness that's always there no matter what is going on. Well at least until I screwed up and broke her heart and possibly mine if she doesn't believe me.

_It was over from the start you completely stole my heart_

_And now you won't let go_

The things Mai has done to me ever since we met sometimes scares me. The power she has over me without even knowing. I would give up my life for her. My heart is completely and utterly hers and nothing can change that.

_I never even had a chance you know_

_You had me from hello_

I didn't have a chance. I always loved her. That's why I kept a close eye on her. I didn't want to be in love. I thought it would only lead to pain, especially with someone as danger prone as Mai.

_Inside I built a wall_

_So high around my heart I thought I'd never fall_

I heard a huff and looked up. Mai showed some signs of disbelief but I could tell she knew I had a wall around my heart and emotions. I'd seen her try to take it down too many times for her to fool me into thinking she didn't know. She wanted to see my emotions and I was ready to show he some of them.

_One touch, you brought it down_

_The bricks of my defenses scattered on the ground_

Mai snorted. She didn't believe this part. Did she not see what she does to me?

I have to fight smiles and hold back laughs with her. It's hard to stay cold and stoic with Mai near.

_And I swore to me I wasn't going to love again_

_The last time was the last time I'd let someone in_

Mai looked at me with a sadness in her eyes that I know was reflected in my own. We were both thinking about Gene. His death hurt me beyond what people could imagine. I didn't want to love anyone for the fear I'd lose them like I did Gene and that the pain I felt then would come back.

I know if Mai died I'd hurt worse than when Gene did. I loved her that much.

_But you had me from hello_

_I felt love start to grow_

Mai's smile started to come back. She was starting to believe what I was trying to tell her through this song. I might be able to tell her myself after the song is over.

_The moment I looked into your eyes you won me_

I stared into Mai's eyes pouring all the emotion I could into my gaze. Mai looked back with the same amount of emotion. I was over come with how great the feelings between us were that I reached out and grabbed Mai's cheek with my hand and caressed it with my thumb. I rested my forehead against hers as she leaned into my touch.

_And now you won't let go_

Not only will Mai not let go of my heart but I won't let go of her. Never again. I can't live without her. She makes my feel alive and makes me want to live.

_I never even had a chance you know_

If I did have a chance I probably wouldn't be here. This was not what I wanted for myself. This is what just happened.

_You had me from hello_

_That's all you said_

_Something in your voice calls me, turns my head_

Mai's voice does call to me. All she has to do is say one word and I'm looking around for her.

_You had me from hello_

_You had me from hello_

_Girl, I've loved you from hello_

"Naru," Mai said as the last notes of the song faded with a slight plea.

"Mai, I do love you," I told her.

"Naru," Mai said sounding close to tears. "I never loved Gene."

I gave a sad smile.

"I know Mai," I told her, "but I've always loved you."

Our faces were inches apart so I leaned in the rest of the way and covered her lips with my own. I found out I had one thing right. Kissing Mai was like heaven.

* * *

><p><strong>Song: You Had Me From Hello- Kenny Chesney<strong>

**A/N: Okay I'm sorry for how long this song took to post. My Word went into a coma and the computer doctor (my dad) couldn't fix it for two days. Well I really loved your reviews. Reviews are nice but they aren't every thing. I'll try to continue this story but it's getting harder to find songs. I don't only look in country songs but that's what I listen to mainly and the feelings in them speak to me. If you have any suggestions for songs for future chapters tell me and I'll listen to them. Hope you enjoyed the story. Bye for now!**


End file.
